My house is 11 yrs. old. Apparently, that equals about 40 in human years because just as when I hit 40 and my body decided to systematically break down, my house and everything in it has decided to do the same. Before the summer started I thought, "Yay, no daycare payments so I can actually start to get ahead on some of this debt!" I guess I thought too loud because in a preemptive strike my 5 yr. old pool cleaner pump went out. Bam, $500. The main pump must've gotten jealous from all that attention so it died also. Bam, another $500. The fancy pool computer control board couldn't handle the shiny new pumps so it croaked for the third time in 5 yrs. Bam, $1000.
My house Air Conditioner unit sits right next to the pool equipment. It noticed the pool guy coming every other Tuesday and thought, "I'm a big, noisy, mechanical thingy that they can't live without and yet they haven't had any sweaty guys with name patches on their shirts come see me - time to gets me some o' that" PFFFT - evaporater coil bit the dust, or rust in this case as the genius that designed it didn't seem to understand the process of corrosion that occurs when two different metals are in contact. Since Al Gore has scared the HVAC industry into using new coolants that will melt the Polar ice cap at a slightly slower rate, we had to replace the whole shebang. Two sweaty guys with name patch shirts gave the ole' AC their full attention for an entire morning and one even fell down my attic steps to add to the excitement. Bam - $7000!
The pool stuff & AC are located over on the side of the house but I was stupid enough to roll the pressure washer by the shiny new pumps etc. so he could see them. He made it halfway through spraying one window before he quit. Cause and cost still undetermined as I believe I will hone up on my man skills & try to tackle this one before eventually taking it apart to the point that I don't know how to reassemble it and then have to take the parts to the lawn equipment repair shop. They know me there as I've taken in my lawn mower, er, pieces of my lawn mower, twice now. While I'm there I can get them to fix the fuel lines on my blower, almost forgot about that piece of busted equipment.
Not to be outdone, the grill thought - why should I be happily heating up his meals while everyone else is taking the summer off? So the brand new gas regulator went bad. My highly anticipated medium rare venison steaks grilled to perfection quickly became dried out pieces of pan fried shoe leather on the stove.
I almost forgot about the vehicles that decided that their belts were no longer in style and started squeaking to let me know they wanted new, more fashionable belts.My truck got tired of squeaking for months so it finally just decided to blow hot air instead of AC. When I still wouldn't pay it attention it just up and died in the middle of the road. At least I could coast into the entrance of my neighborhood. A 4 hour ordeal of taking out the battery, recharging it, reinstalling it, and restarting the car later I figured it was time to replace the serpentine belt and the broken AC compressor belt. After studying up on how to replace them on YouTube I thought I'd save myself a few hundred bucks. And I did, instead of the 5 minutes it took the guy on the video it took more like 5 hours, 3 trips to Autozone, and 1 to Home Depot, and about 50 cussing, tool throwing fits later both cars had new serpentine belts and tensioners and my truck had a new AC compressor belt. So I fired her up.....and the new $36 AC belt immediately melted into tiny little black smudges all over the seized up compressor pulley. I did manage to get it to the shop. Bam - $1100.
So whatever saving I thought I was gonna get from 2 months out from the strangulating tuition of Toddler Harvard were gone - and then some. Oh well, welcome to home ownership. Excuse me now as the dryer is calling me. It no longer dries. I wonder if I could just crack open the door & duct tape the hair dryer nozzle to hit the clothes as they tumble by.....?
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Rambling #3 - Tale of the Big Deck
I've got a big deck. Other men envy my big deck and women want to sit on my big deck. But enough of the juvenile, yet still hilarious, innuendo. I really do have a big, wooden deck that I built 10 years ago. It runs about 16 by 32 ft. or about 3/4 of the length of the back of the house with a shade cover over about half of it. The reason I built a wood deck is that I'm buddies with a guy that used to do that for a job in the summer. If I was friends with a flagstone guy, I would've done a patio.
Well anyway, we've enjoyed the big deck over the years, grilling, socializing, etc. and when we put in a pool, we just left the deck there and butted the pool deck up to the wood. I love the natural look of the wood but it comes with a price. Each year it requires a bit of maintenance. Each summer I would strip off the old stain, clean it, and re-stain it. That is until the twins arrived and my summers filled up with diaper changing, spoon feedings, and general daddy daycare. So for the last few years I've just been rolling new stain on top of the old stain. Even worse, I've been using some discount, discontinued stain I picked up for cheap. It's gotten to the point that you can't even see the fine wood grain that gives my big deck such character.
So this year I thought that it was just hot enough to turn a two day job into a week long adventure. The wife was out of town, the kids were at Nana's - it was time to get a stripper! Not just one stripper, two, then three, then four. Oh the stripper was rolling all over that big deck. Up and back, left and right until I was sweating through my shirt. I'm telling you, hand rolling four gallons of paint stripper in 100 degree heat is a lot of work. But fortunately, the second part of the stain stripping process is to just hose it off. So I whipped out that big hose and got to spraying.....and it was quickly evident that the stain was laughing at my attempts to separate it from the wood. No problem, I've got a big, powerful man-toy made for just this situation: The Pressure Washer. Time to pull out the big guns. I pull out Ole' Squirty only to find it's got a wobbly wheel that's missing two bolts but it'll still shoot.
I crank 'er up & get to blasting that stubborn stain. Nothing can withstand the power of that Honda motor. Heck, I've written my name on the driveway with it, blasted the paint off of the pool filter, and nearly severed a toe one time. And most of that stain didn't stand a chance, most of that stain splashed all over the side of the house. This despite my efforts to hang shower curtains all around the work area to protect the house and pool. Oh well, nothing that the pressure washer can't handle after I'm done with this job. So I methodically go up and down every board for the next few hours only to find that 3 years of stain is more than a match for $100 worth of stripper and motorized hose.
Plan B - sand that sucker down! But what kind of sander? All I've got is a palm sander called "The Mouse". Obviously, no mouse is up to a job of this proportion. That opens up an opportunity to rent a big tool - a floor sander. Whoohoo - a chance to use a big tool. Christmas in July! One call to the rental center shot that down. Apparently floor sanders are designed for flat floors, not the curves and contours of a fine outdoor deck. Even better - a trip to the tool store is required. Birthday in July! A family trip to the mall with stops at the tool store, Coach purse store, home goods store, and carousel ride for the kids later, I've got my belt sander.
So on a sunny Sunday morning I gather my keys and inform the head female of the house that I need to get sandpaper belts for the sander. "Oh wait, I need to get a jewelry organizer and we need some paper towels also."Ok, I can probably get the belt at Wal-Mart. So we loaded up the 'Burb & headed off. 90 minutes and $80 later I had a new folding table, toilet paper, paper towels, and special skin lotion, but no sandpaper belts. Time to hit the man store on the way home where I finally got my belts...and some tomato plants and some wire vine climby thing since apparently, tomatoes have evolved to the point that they need constant human intervention to survive.
Finally it was time to tackle that damn deck. Belt installed, extension cord plugged in, switch on - vvvvrrrrrrmmmmmm! Awesome! This thing is stripping off stain like nobody's business! One board, two boards...seven boards and phhpptpttt. Broken belt. Oh well, it's time to play Barbie anyway.
Well anyway, we've enjoyed the big deck over the years, grilling, socializing, etc. and when we put in a pool, we just left the deck there and butted the pool deck up to the wood. I love the natural look of the wood but it comes with a price. Each year it requires a bit of maintenance. Each summer I would strip off the old stain, clean it, and re-stain it. That is until the twins arrived and my summers filled up with diaper changing, spoon feedings, and general daddy daycare. So for the last few years I've just been rolling new stain on top of the old stain. Even worse, I've been using some discount, discontinued stain I picked up for cheap. It's gotten to the point that you can't even see the fine wood grain that gives my big deck such character.
So this year I thought that it was just hot enough to turn a two day job into a week long adventure. The wife was out of town, the kids were at Nana's - it was time to get a stripper! Not just one stripper, two, then three, then four. Oh the stripper was rolling all over that big deck. Up and back, left and right until I was sweating through my shirt. I'm telling you, hand rolling four gallons of paint stripper in 100 degree heat is a lot of work. But fortunately, the second part of the stain stripping process is to just hose it off. So I whipped out that big hose and got to spraying.....and it was quickly evident that the stain was laughing at my attempts to separate it from the wood. No problem, I've got a big, powerful man-toy made for just this situation: The Pressure Washer. Time to pull out the big guns. I pull out Ole' Squirty only to find it's got a wobbly wheel that's missing two bolts but it'll still shoot.
I crank 'er up & get to blasting that stubborn stain. Nothing can withstand the power of that Honda motor. Heck, I've written my name on the driveway with it, blasted the paint off of the pool filter, and nearly severed a toe one time. And most of that stain didn't stand a chance, most of that stain splashed all over the side of the house. This despite my efforts to hang shower curtains all around the work area to protect the house and pool. Oh well, nothing that the pressure washer can't handle after I'm done with this job. So I methodically go up and down every board for the next few hours only to find that 3 years of stain is more than a match for $100 worth of stripper and motorized hose.
Plan B - sand that sucker down! But what kind of sander? All I've got is a palm sander called "The Mouse". Obviously, no mouse is up to a job of this proportion. That opens up an opportunity to rent a big tool - a floor sander. Whoohoo - a chance to use a big tool. Christmas in July! One call to the rental center shot that down. Apparently floor sanders are designed for flat floors, not the curves and contours of a fine outdoor deck. Even better - a trip to the tool store is required. Birthday in July! A family trip to the mall with stops at the tool store, Coach purse store, home goods store, and carousel ride for the kids later, I've got my belt sander.
So on a sunny Sunday morning I gather my keys and inform the head female of the house that I need to get sandpaper belts for the sander. "Oh wait, I need to get a jewelry organizer and we need some paper towels also."Ok, I can probably get the belt at Wal-Mart. So we loaded up the 'Burb & headed off. 90 minutes and $80 later I had a new folding table, toilet paper, paper towels, and special skin lotion, but no sandpaper belts. Time to hit the man store on the way home where I finally got my belts...and some tomato plants and some wire vine climby thing since apparently, tomatoes have evolved to the point that they need constant human intervention to survive.
Finally it was time to tackle that damn deck. Belt installed, extension cord plugged in, switch on - vvvvrrrrrrmmmmmm! Awesome! This thing is stripping off stain like nobody's business! One board, two boards...seven boards and phhpptpttt. Broken belt. Oh well, it's time to play Barbie anyway.
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